I had no idea how fragile this structure was until it was broken and no longer attached to me. Friend D knows everybody - and I thought I did too, until he was gone. Friends E, F, G and H were great people and I liked them, but it we never made plans together without friend C. I didn’t see my former work friends anymore because we all kept in touch via get-togethers at friend B’s house. Suddenly, I didn’t see my high school friends anymore because we all congregated around friend A. We all have friends that we know only through certain other friends. However, these four were not only my best friends, but they each occupied critical points in my network of people. I actually had many more than four friends. You might be wondering why I only had four friends to lose. The delicate structures that keep us together In fact, I think it’s something millions of people do. But I know now that it was - I was taking an enormous risk by living with a particular habit, and you may be doing it too. Given this unlikely collision of circumstances in my friends’ lives, I’m tempted to argue that it wasn’t my fault that I ended up friendless. What I needed most during this period was friends, and fate chose this time to show me what it was like, for the first time, to have none. So within a few months, I ended up with no confidence, a fragmented family, and a bleak future on the career front. Then a fourth one, whom I’d introduced to those two, thought it sounded pretty good and joined them. Not long after, another pair of them went to work menial jobs at a ski resort in the Rockies. One had already gone, after his employment had dried up here, to live with his parents in Calgary. In addition to this, my dad was sick, my sister was overseas, my cat was dead, terrorists had attacked New York City and my mom was trying to hold us all together.Īs if by conspiracy, my best friends all moved away around that time. Since my cleverness was always my main source of self-esteem, my unprecedented academic troubles translated to an unprecedented collapse of personal confidence. I was studying a subject I didn’t care about, with a GPA of two-point-something (and falling), and I just couldn’t see myself ever doing it for a living. Just in time for my final year of college, a number of independently-moving disasters all converged to create an almost perfect rock-bottom scenario.
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